I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
