someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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