i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
