I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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