I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
