and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
