My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
