I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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