Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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