why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish i was in the wii world.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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