There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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