Your face is a jimmy john
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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