honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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