Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
