He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
