I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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