Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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