yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
