So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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