My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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