go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
