evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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