It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
