I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
