Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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