can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
