So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
