If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize