he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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