She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
