I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
