Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
