i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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