don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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