drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
