i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
