break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
