Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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