My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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