Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
