thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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