it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
