dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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