We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
