Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
