My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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