No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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