Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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