My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
soo... how was my night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
