so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
