They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
