i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
