Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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