Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
