You just made me feel so damn special
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
