if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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