Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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