forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
