haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
