One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
